北京环球教育杨陆哲老师上一次在群里面狂怼了同事"手切拿铁"而大获全胜之后，群里面莫名地安静了许久。我发任何消息，已经没有人敢接茬了。但是，这寂静没几天就被打破了。众所周知，今年的10月26号，对于混在北京的人来说，又是一个激动人心的日子。对，26号是摇号的日子。

　　这次的摇号，在数据方面又创历史新高。对的，你没有看错，中签率是0.0453%。就是2206人当中，一个人中签。怎么样，刺激不刺激？

　　每当到了摇号的日子，我就特别想去群里怼摇号不成功的同事。实话实说，我的确有点变态。

　　先来说说我一个同事。暂且称呼他为"绵密佛"。此人话语绵密的很，绵绵不断，滔滔不绝。而且语言细腻，缜密。此外，对待任何事物多有一颗佛心。故而称其为"绵密佛"。和他抬杠，也算是我人生中的一个小挑战，一个小突破。绵密佛，从摇号一始就积极地投身于此。但是，多年不成功。逐渐也就开始佛系摇号了。在他看来，活在北京，有车没车没啥两样。

　　有车没车，没啥两样？开玩笑呢！这明显破坏了我内心世界的小秩序啊。怼之。当天中午摇号结果一公布，我就在死水般的群里投入一颗惊雷。我留言到：很多五六十岁的人至今不愿意使用智能手机，他们觉得没什么。就好像很多年过而立的人至今没有车，他们也觉得没什么。我自己也承认，这句留言有点欠打了。果不其然，一石激起千层浪。绵密佛如约而至了。

　　绵密佛曰：Those people who drive for commuting every day are wasting their lives while stuck in the traffic jam. Their cars contribute greatly to the global warming, the urban heat island effect, and the air pollution. They are sinners.

　　果不其然，这炮火比我想象的更为猛烈一些。一上来就排比，果然是绵密佛。还好我早有准备。错其锋芒，攻其软肋。我不接话，而是发问。我问绵密佛，你怎么上班呢？

　　绵密佛曰：I commute by bus, which is definitely environmentally friendly since most buses in Beijing are powered by electricity or natural gas. Additionally, I can enjoy the free Wi-fi and air condition on the bus. Another thing worth mentioning is that the fare is quite acceptable and affordable.

　　坐公交就坐公交，非得和我扯环保。这不是我最擅长的话题嘛！

　　陆哲曰：The concept of zero emission of public buses in Beijing is totally BS. As we all know, around 80 percentage of electricity of our country is produced by some traditional power plants that consume millions of tonnes of fossil fuels every day. And the natural gas that buses are using in Beijing is transported from places thousands of miles away. How can you say they are eco-friendly?

　　绵密佛又曰：In fact, I take subway very frequently for the reason that the subway system in Beijing is efficient, reliable, and punctual.

　　陆哲答曰：Admittedly, the underground system in the city is beneficial to all urban dwellers. However, it is inevitably, unbelievably, and excessively crowded in rush hours. If you want to live like a sardine in a can, taking the subway is your best choice without a shadow of a doubt.

　　绵密佛再曰：Actually, I am a VIP member of OFO. I usually ride bike-sharing bikes in rush hours. It is not only a kind of transport but also a way to do exercise.

　　陆哲怼曰：It is also the way for you to breathe in more smog and traffic exhaust. Everyone is this city should say thanks to you, because you are the air purifier for us. Nevertheless, it is obviously weather-dependent. I do not believe that you are willing to ride a bike if it is rainy, windy, or snowy. You should stop lying to yourself. You do need a car, but unfortunately you do not have the allowance. This is the life.

　　On top of this, the company OFO is dying, leaving us a great number of bikes as solid waste polluting our cities. I will never support a company that has no Corporate Social Responsibility. I mean NEVER.

　　这又是一次值得庆祝的胜利。不仅怼出了专业词汇，还怼出了我的高风亮节，胸怀天下，以及我先天下之忧而忧的人生格局。